The Diary of Ana The Bloody
by Aseret
Summary: After -The Gift- Sometime during the summer, Spike is helping Dawn with a summer course assignment, in which he tells her about his life as William. Set mostly in the 18th century and the early 1900’s.(No Paring) -Shows Spike's love for Buffy-
1. A Life Without Friends

**Title- The Diary of Ana The Bloody **

Disclaimer- Spike, Dawn William, Ann (William's mother) and Cecily Adams all belong to Joss and the creators of BTVS, the rest- Ana, James senior, James Jr. Aria, Sally Smith, Richard Wordsworth, and Walter Glass are mine.

Summary- After -The Gift- Sometime during the summer, Spike is helping Dawn with a summer course assignment, in which he tells her about his life as William. Set mostly in the 18th century and the early 1900's.

PG-13

Chapter 1

**A Life Without Friends **

Ana _(last name unknown) was_ 15 years old with long blond hair and green eyes, Proven by a family portrait I found.

"_I thought about killing myself again today,"_ she wrote in her diary October 15th 1902.

"_I can't breath, I can't feel, I can't live, all I want is to heal...."_ That was part of a poem written by Ana October 07th 1902.

Ana Unknown was the youngest of four children. The oldest, William was 28 and no longer lived with them. He had light brown curly hair and blue eyes, as seen in the family photo. He was rarely at home when he first attended Oxford in 1897 at the age of 21. Aria was the second oldest at 24. She had brown hair and blue eyes like William, and was married at the age of 20 in 1900. James, the second youngest at 19, had blond hair like Ana and brown eyes. He lived at home until he was 20 and then took a job in the local town. Her mother's name was Ann and her father was James senior. He father died when she was very young and she never knew him very well.

_October 10th 1902_

_"I don't know why they hate me, maybe I've done something to offend them in some way..."_

__

_September 4th 1902_

_"Tomorrow I start school. I wonder what it will be like. I miss my old school and friends back home in London terribly, but mother says I will meet lots here. I can't wait to see what it will be like..."_

__

_September 5th 1902_

_"Today was my first day of school here and I must say I'm rather disappointed. Not a single soul made the effort to keep conversation with me, but I must admit I was a little shy. I have promised myself not to do so tomorrow..."_

__

_September 6th 1902_

_"I tried, I really did, but still no one will continue a conversation with me, nor will they start one. I have no friends here and I long for the streets of London, but mother says we must stay here and that making friends take time. Funny, I don't remember it talking this long before..."_

__

_September 7th 1902_

_"Today I once again made the effort to talk to Sally Smith. Although I have never mentioned her before I have tried several times to speak with her since we are seated next to each other, but she ignores me or just nods polity. I don't think she likes me very much..."_

__

_September 8th 1902_

_"I have spoken to my brother William, who once also had trouble making friends. I don't think he ever really had any back in London; they were always mean to him. He has met some people here though, I believe. I asked him how long it usually takes and he told me it depends on the person and the people involved, that I should just keep trying to talk to other people instead of just one and surly some one won't turn their nose to me if they do then I'm better off without the. I believe my brother is right and I shall take his advice..."_

__

_September 12th 1902_

_"I t has been 3 days since I last wrote anything. That's because I have not been feeling well. I have more bad news. Sally Smith captured this very diary and read it aloud in the schoolyard for everyone to hear, which most of the girls did. I was mortified. I wept in public; I am too embarrassed to go back to school. I won't bother mother with my problems. I mustn't upset her-she had TB and needs her rest so she can get better..."_

__

_September 13th 1902_

_"Today as I was walking to school (in which I wasn't looking forward to attending) I found the city library where I sat all day and read a book given to me by my brother William. I cannot recall the name of it right now. I enjoy the library quite a bit and I think I will go there often form now on..."_

__

_September 15th 1902_

_"Here I am again at the library. They have a lot of great books here and I find myself lost in each one I read. I could read them all and that's what I intend to do since I plan to never return to school. Mother says both me and William have inherited our father love for literature...Oh dear! I have spotted my brother William who had just entered and I pray he does not see me..."_

__

"Ana, is that you?" _He says...he has spotted me and I fear he will tell mother..._

"What are you doing here?"_ he asked, sitting down next to me..._

"I came to get a book," _I tell him..._

"Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I...I...I," _I tried to tell him but the words wouldn't escape from my lips..._

"You what?" _He asked me again..._

"I was in school, but I started coming here."

"Started?"

"I just came to get a book" _I hate to lie, especially to William, who can always tell anyway..._

"Well, you have one, do you not? So lets get you back to school, shall we?"

"I can't go back,"_ I tell him..._

"Why not?"

"Because, I...I, I just can't!"

"Can't or won't?"

"Both..."

"Do you want to tell me why not, then?"

"You know...."

"You still haven't made any friends? Is that it?"

"Yes, but not only that-they make jokes about me...."

"Pay no attention to them, you're better then that."

"Do you know what it feels like to sit there by yourself knowing everybody hates you and you don't even know why?"

"Yes I do...In London this particular time.... you do recall Cecily Adams, don't you?" 

"Yes, the girl you were in love with?"

"That's the one.... Well anyway, I was at a party she attended also and I was writing a poem about her, and Richard Wordsworth snatched it from right out of my hand... the ink wasn't even dry and read it aloud in front of every one. I was mortified."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing really, and I thought I'd never get over it.... but I did...and now it doesn't even seem as bad as it did back then..."

"Yeah.... but this is now and it's still bad and it hurts and I don't ever want to go back to school ever again!" _At this point I was almost in tears..._

"You know you must go back to school sooner or later," _He tried to make me feel better, but it wasn't working._

"I know.... will you tell mother?"

"I won't for now, but you must promise me that you will return to school immediately."

"Fine, I'll go back on Monday."

"Ana, today is only Tuesday..."

"I know, but I really wanted to finish this book because there's another book I have spotted that I cannot wait to read."

"Ok, if you must, you may return no later then Monday, but I assure you if have not returned by then I will have to inform Mother."

"I will William, don't worry."

Ok...Please Review and tell me what you think...and I know that you might not understand what's going on right now, and I know the times are screwed up, but it's supposed to be, so please review and tell me what u think ï 


	2. Walter Glass

**Title- The Diary of Ana The Bloody**

Disclaimer- Spike, Dawn, William, Ann (William's mother) and Cicely Adams all belong to Joss and the creators of BTVS, the rest- Ana, James senior, James Jr. Aria, Sally Smith, Richard Wordsworth, and Walter Glass are mine.

Summary- After -The Gift- Sometime during the summer, Spike is helping Dawn with a summer course assignment, in which he tells her about his life as William. Set mostly in the 18th century and the early 1900's. –Shows Spike's Love for Buffy-

PG-13

Chapter 2

**Walter Glass**

_September 21st 1902_

_"I returned to school this morning... and everything is just the same as before... I hate school, I cannot stand it there, and every one continues to make jokes at me still, mostly at my accent. I don't find these jokes funny, they hurt, and I wonder if they know this..."_

_September 22ed 1902_

_"I am doing well in school, my grades are the best in the class, but I still have not made one single friend. Walter Glass once asked me if I had an extra pencil he could write with, he said thank-you to me once I gave it to him. Walter was the first person to actually talk to me every since I've started school here. He seems very nice, I should try and talk to him tomorrow..."_

_I am on my way to school, as I pasts the city library, I long to go in there, but I cannot risk my brother, William, spotting me again. So, taking one last look into the window, I am off, back on my way to school. Just then I realize that Walter is in front of me, he must have pasted me while I was looking into the library window..._

"Walter... hi,"_ I say once I catch up with him..._

"Oh...hi, it's Ana, right?" _He asked me...he has such a nice voice..._

"Yes, it's Ana," _I answer...I didn't have a clue what to talk to him about..._

"So..." _He said._ "Did you find the exam hard yesterday?"

"No...did you?" _I ask him, and then it occurred to me that I was actually having a conversation with someone for the first time since my arrival to America, and not just anyone...a boy! And not just any boy...Walter Glass..._

"It was alright I guess," _We were just getting into the conversation when we reached the schoolyard..._

"Hello Walter,"_ Sally Smith said, coming over to him._ "Walk me to class?" _She asked with her usual sweet smile... Sally had long blond curly hair and was one of the most beautiful girls in my grade. I really got the feeling that she didn't like me too well..._

"Aw, sure," _Walter replied._ "I'll see you," _he said to me..._

"Bye,"_ I told him as he walked arm in arm with Sally Smith though the schoolyard._

_September 23rd 1902_

_"I have met some one wonderful today, his name is Walter Glass, he was so nice to me, we even walked to school together, until Sally Smith asked him to walk her to class...oh well, at least he talked to me. Finally! I have some one who I can talk to, some one who is my friend, but maybe he will like me as more then a friend, as I do him._

_September 24th_

_"I met Walter on the way to school again today. We didn't have much to talk about though. I was afraid to say anything, afraid he might think I was strange, but honestly, I didn't have a clue what to say to him. We had talked about school, we had talked about the weather, we had even talked about cheese...don't ask me how that was even brought to conversation... and every day Sally Smith would come over to us and ask him the same thing... "Hi Walter...Walk me to class?" and then she would give me a look, I'm not quite sure what it means but I am for certain that I did something wrong..."_

_September 25th 1902_

_"We walked together again today, although there wasn't much conversation, but every time I talk to him I get little butterflies in the bottom of my stomach. Maybe one day we we'll be married...Ana Glass... that certainly does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I wonder if he gets little butterflies too? Walter seems quiet, shy, almost like me, although he isn't quiet when he's around Sally Smith. Every day she asks him to walk her to class. I wonder when she will be able to remember the way all by herself? They always laugh together...but that's ok, they can be friends... I know he loves me, just as I love him..."_

"Hello Walter, walk me to class?" _She asked once again. Every day she asked the same thing and every day his answer is the same..._

"Aw, sure. I'll see you," _And then he nodes, and walks Sally smith to her class. Everyday as I watch them walk off together. It gets harder and harder..._

"Hey, Ana, Wait up," _Sally Smith called to me, after all our classes were over that day..._

"Oh, hello Sally," _I greeted..._

"Hello," _She said to me. _"Was it just me, or did today feel like it would never end?" _she asked me conversationally, which she never did. In fact this was the first time she had ever talked to me..._

"Um, it was alright," _I told her, all the times I wanted to talk to her and now she was finally talking to me and I had nothing to say...kind of ironic isn't it? _

"So you and Walter seem to be getting close..." _Was she asking me this or telling me? I knew she liked him, as did I..._

"We're friends," _I told her, although I think she could tell there was something more..._

"You know, he is really handsome, don't you think so?" _I couldn't believe she would be so bold; did she actually want me to answer that? She hadn't said anything else and one would assume she was waiting for an answer..._

"I-I-I- guess," _That was all I could manage to get out, where was she going with this? _

"You fancy him, don't you Ana?"

"I-I--I," _I couldn't manage go get a sentence out of my mouth, it went all dry and I felt like I couldn't breathe, but she continued to talk anyway... _

"It's very obvious he fancies you, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, he told me he wants to meet you by the pond today after school...so I guess that would be right now."

"Really?"

"Yes, he told me."

"So, I have to go meet him now?"

"Yes, hurry, he might be there already."

"Ok, thank-you...Where's the pond?" _I ask her, so she gave me directions, and I walked, almost ran as fast as I could... _

"Hello, Walter," Sally said as he came out of the school.

"Oh, hello"

"Walk me home?"

"Of course."

_When I finally reached the pond Walter was nowhere in sight, so I sat down by a nearby tree, and waited..._

AN: Ok if anyone is reading this please review! !


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